1. |
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Have you ever hit a point,
Where you sleep with the lights and your clothes on,
And you sit in the shower long after the water is cold, just thinking about nothing at all.
Where everything seems gray, and even the best of things seem pointless, because it feels like you have no one to share it with?
Then maybe just maybe,
You're not listening to what's being said to you.
And you're beating a dead horse, because it feels better than being alone.
Open your ears and find the strength to find comfort in solitude, you need to move on, it's time for a re-evaluation.
I've hit my point.
Where I sleep with the lights and my clothes on,
And this shower water is, oh, so cold, and my head is full of clouds of my pain.
Everything is gray.
And everything seems pointless.
Because she makes me feel like she's not even there.
I know, I know, i haven't been listening to what God has been telling me, and I'm beating this dead horse, because I'm scared to do life on my own.
I Will open my ears,
And I will pray for the confidence to go alone,
Its time to move on,
This is my re-evaluation.
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2. |
Malaise
03:37
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Its hard to live life like its a gift,
When everyday is a struggle to keep your head above water,
no one understands, and no one listens.
Its like i use hope as an excuse to forget that there isn't any at all.
If only I could find a way,
If only I could find a way out.
When did the sun become so dark
when did color fade to black and grey?
when did comfort become a native tongue?
and when did happiness become just a dream?
Its the same thing every day,
Wake up, pretend and try to sleep
Oh God, tell me when did life become so hard.
Wake up, Pretend, Then try to sleep.
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3. |
Acatalepsy (Live)
04:11
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I've had two long months to think about the things we said and did
And I have come to the conclusion There's nothing that I regret
And there are far to many reasons for me to love you through all this
I have no more reservations cause I know that this is it
But it's just like life to throw a wrench into everything divine
And Although I'm not afraid I can't say I'm feeling fine
But that's just the way it goes, that's just the way things are
Life's a dead mans game
And reality, a dreamers war
I remember
When I was younger
Calm and somber
I prayed for patience
I never wanted
To have to earn it
Because I'm selfish
Because I'm afraid
I'm not out to change a world
I'm out to change a mind
I swear I'll do my best for you
Just like I always do
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4. |
Lamentations
03:40
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I used to spend my days hoping I would see you in the halls,
Now I spend my days putting holes in the walls.
Every night, before I go to sleep, I ask God that tomorrow could be filled with the happiness that's become so rare.
When you're looking at me,
I hope that you see the pain in my eyes.
And I hope that you know that you cause my demise.
And I don't even have the energy to sing,
cause the lyrics remind me of the pain that you bring.
Now its 5:37 AM and I don't mean a thing to you,
You say you "love me" and that you're sorry,
But we both know that's not true.
As I break down in your arms and I don't say a word,
My sadness is so hard to observe, because I mask it with a smile.
This is the 13th day in a rom that I've cried myself to sleep,
cause I remember the way you said you'd kill just to hear me speak,
and I remember the way you missed me, and id give anything to forget the way you kissed me,
Cause I gave you my heart, to watch you rip it apart.
And instead of talking to you on the phone, I'm talking to the demons in my head,
and instead of you saying you love me, they're saying I'm better off dead.
Its all I hear when I'm trying to sleep at night,
and quite frankly my dear, I'm starting to think that they're right.
This is the 13th day in a row that I've cried myself to sleep.
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5. |
Butterflies
04:14
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The longer I go out here all alone
The more the Midwest seems so painfully cold
The more that my bed feels more like my home
The more that out memories seem more like a joke
I wanna get better, believe me I do
But I'm scared I can't love anyone quite like you
And I'm starting to think that maybe it's true
You never get lucky twice
I can't decide what I liked about you
Was it the look of your face? Was it the things you would do?
Either way, I fell for you so hard that I threw
Out things like I love you and I'll never leave too
I'm afraid that no one could be the same
And I'm afraid that maybe I'm too late to find true love
What if your kiss was it, maybe I'll never have a kiss again.
What if my hand won't weave correctly into someone else's fingers
What if that feeling Id get, will never come to me again.
What if you were the only one, what if I am made to die alone.
But it can't be! cause of all that you've done
You make me feel like nothing, and you took out my Tongue
I never had the right to speak my mind, and now I see
That if I stay hung up on what we had, then you will have won.
What if your kiss was it, maybe I'll never have a kiss again.
What if my hand won't weave correctly into someone else's fingers
What if that feeling Id get, will never come to me again.
What if you were the only one, what if I am made to die alone.
But this can't be it! I refuse to never love again.
I cannot let your empty words, control my every action
So now I raise my glass, and I raise my fist
And say the love I loved you with, was nothing short of passion
And I hope that when I ended it I blew a chain reaction
And I hope that you succeed in life and I hope you find compassion
But I am moving on.
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6. |
Basorexia (Live)
04:48
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If I said I wanted to watch you sleep,
Would that be too much for you to take?
Cause nothing is more true
I wanna lay down next to you
And count your breaths
Until your eyes open again
I wanna hear you say to me
Good morning angel, how'd you sleep?
Just so I can say
I couldn't get any at all.
I find no better words to express my love for you than "I will fight to the end" cause if this world collapsed I would find my way through everything to make sure that you were alive and well
And I've got nothing left in my head than your name our kiss and memories thatll stick to the end
And if I lose myself in the fight for your hand,
I'll tip my own and tell them how it's going to end
There's nothing I want more,
Than my hand on top of yours,
As we drift away to dreams,
That star each other,
Someday weel have a bed
That we can call our own
Someday I'll build your home
Someday has become my favorite word
This is what I dream about,
when I can close my eyes,
Cause nothing is more beautiful that your voice when you are tired.
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7. |
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I never thought I'd feel okay again, but I do, I feel more okay then ever before.
This sense of freedom began in my head, and found its way to my heart, and I've never felt quite this alive.
Perhaps that's why God brought you to me at that time, when I felt the most inspired to find love that was real unlike anything Id known up until that time.
And I found it in your eyes
Did you hear me?
I found love in your eyes
A brown base with streaks of green tan and white that still blind me everytime I decide to gaze deeper than I should, sometimes they form a passage to your mind where I can see you actually love me for me, and not for what I could buy.
I chased you down to the west until you took the 2000 mile drive to get to where I was.
And that was when I made the discovery that you were in the same place as I, and when my trust grew so did your place in my heart.
I finally felt at home, in your arms, I felt so far from the dark that all I could see was light.
And you felt the same.
And Even though my scars still remain you kissed my wounds and tend to my pain and make me feel okay even when I talk insane. And I never thought I'd say I love you and mean in more that before but now I've never meant it more.
Days will go by with me by your side
And nothing will change how I look in your eyes
I thank you so much that you stay in my life
Even though I don't deserve it.
And all the pain I went through was worth it.
I no longer feel worthless
Between you and God I've found my purpose
And I want you to know that you are perfect.
And my love for you goes beyond the surface
And when we die, we'll close our eyes and give our final kiss goodnight,
And pass onto the other side.
Nothing could be more right.
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